Wednesday, December 01, 2010

19 Approaches

Hm. So, I guess I'm gonna be 19 this Friday, which is the day after tomorrow. And after 12 years never celebrating my birthday on my actual birth date, this year still no good. Most of my friends couldn't make it.. yeah sure, whatever.

NO. I want to be selfish this time! I'm very very very disappointed, to tell you the truth. But I couldn't. Of course I'm sad and all, but I guess I have to understand. But I always sort of want to cry remembering this fact. They knew, of course. But they themselves couldn't do anything about their schedule. It's not something to compromise I guess.

My real and honest feeling? I'm sorry but I can't help to not feel this way :(
I feel like I should get the chance to celebrate my birthday at my real, actual, authentic birth date. Why couldn't I? Maybe I should go and watch a movie by myself +.+ That's something new.

Hff. I thought this year's gonna be different, being in university and all. But no different. I guess this is what I gonna get until I die =.= imagine, in school, my birthday always the first day of the exam, or the day BEFORE the first day of the exam. In university, my birthday is sort of lovely, the last day of studying. I got a few days off after that too. So yeah, I could celebrate with my new mates. But none of my besties. Then in work life. My birthday's probably sweeter because it's very close to the end of November, a.k.a payday. And again, I could probably celebrate it with my work mates, but none of my besties coz they're probably busy working as well. And as I grow older, when I have kids, he/she probably wouldn't have the time to celebrate, because it is after all, the month of exam =.= and it goes on for about 12 years. Hhh.

Well. I guess this year I'm gonna, again, celebrate my birthday in--probably--someone else's birth date. These are a very gloomy last days of 18..

HEY. you're probably wondering why I'm feeling this way, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.
It's just like how you react to sad movies, or to delicious food, or to great awesome performance, or to cockroach, etc blah blah. It's natural. It's on its own. Again, I can't help it. Sorry, but I can't help it. I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm disappointed, but I can't really be mad at anyone, can I? It's not MY fault, clearly. and it's not THEIR fault, as well. It's just a damn bad luck.

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