Saturday, November 13, 2010

Lots of Things

So.. lots have happened. Anyways, what happens recently not too much, in a short summary it would be something like this: I missed my first (and probably the only) study tour with my class (DON'T ASK WHY), I got one too many tasks and I'm pretty much frustrated because I can't seem to get it done, something about holiday is bothering me, the subjects at my campus bothering me as well, and the last but definitely not the least, I got the offer to move in to my grandma's house, so I can be closer to my campus.

Yeah from that list, the last seemed to bug me the most. It's true I could move there. I could take my lovely boyfriend (read: my computer) there.. ask them to install internet service, move my whole bed there, my bookshelf, and blah blah. I would wake up less early than I have to, and I DEFINITELY gonna be home sooner than I usually should. It sounded sort of, kinda, almost very nice. But the thing is... it's my grandma! She doesn't know me the way my "family" does. I mean, what should I do if I got home in a very bad mood? I can't just yell at her to back off, or to not interfere, or leave her without saying the truth! and I suppose we all know that I'm not that type of person. Sure I don't like it when unknown people know about me being bad moody and all, but again.. she's not a total stranger to me. I know her, she knows me.. well, a bit. So, it's really confusing. I mean, it's very tempting to live in somewhere closer. And I have a friend who I could ask to go home together too, if i live there. And it's Pasar Baru! It's kinda fun. AND IT'S CLOSE TO MY CHURCH! ha-ha.

Hhh. Not that I don't like or love her. Of course I do, but it's ME who I afraid to disappoint her. What if this real me (or at least the grumpy or the maudlin side of me) turn out to be something she resented? I do have problems to not stop thinking when I know--or suspect--someone's dislike towards me.

And I'm having a not too great time in campus as well. Life is great +.+

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