Ted

In many ways I'd see myself as Ted. The person who keeps hoping, waiting, crossing fingers for that one thing. The One. Oops. I guess I jumped a little. Yes, I have been watching How I Met Your Mother. Recently, like one hour ago, I just finished season 5. And I can't wait for the 6th! Gosh.

So anyways, like I said before, I'm like Ted in one or two ways. In some part I do have a couple as my best friends, and I do have my own "gang". What's lacking is probably our own "booth" at "McLaren's" :p But that doesn't stop us from hanging out you know.

Actually I was about to write something I thought important, but now it's gone. I guess it's probably not so important after all. Well, just talk about myself, then. Where were we? Yes, like Ted. No, not the part where he got left at the altar, and probably not the part where he is friends with Robin, his ex. But it is alike when it comes to the best friends part, the gang, the hanging out, the fun, the silly jokes, the hopeless romantic he is. Now, that last part was quite true. He keeps waiting for the right one, for The One. He thought he had found "it", but the so-called-"it" left him at the very moment of his wedding. Now, now. If I see it, it's his own fault. Why would he bring Stella's ex to the wedding? But at that time, it seemed like the right thing to do. But from this mistakes, we know that she's not the one for him. Sure it hurts. Being left for her ex who hasn't propose to her even though their already in a relationship for 8 years and had a 7 year-old daughter together. But it told Ted something, didn't it? Imagine, what if Ted didn't invite Tony to their wedding? Stella would probably with Ted now, but sooner or later, their gonna break up anyway. And it'll cost more damage.

Hm. I do tend do get lost in explaining the movie I love. Sooo, I guess what I've been trying to say is.. I have to be patient. And this Ted character gives me that. Don't ever stop loving. Don't stop searching. And more importantly, don't, seriously, DON'T ever stop hoping. Because when you stop hoping, you stop searching, and when you stop searching, you stop loving. And the cycle goes cruel.

In Memoriam: Ludy Colias

A person's life is like a song. At some point it started, and the next thing you know it ended..

How people respond to that "song" is also different from one another.

Why am I telling you this?

Well. I was on my way to the church, in anger (don't ask). Then my Mom's cell rang. It was my uncle. He told my mom that my sick uncle has just passed away. 9.15 AM.

He, Ludy Colias, was a fine man. And I'm not just telling this because I have to. He cares about his family, he's kind, wise in his own ways.. Since my mom's parents passed away, he's been like their replacement, in a very good way, of course.

So now I'm writing this, and playing Maroon 5 song titled "Out of Goodbyes" (ft. Lady Antebellum) in dedication for him..

I never got the chance to visit him while he's still in the hospital.. Last night when Mom and Dad went there, there's an urge to go there with them.. But I was too lazy to do it.. Besides, they went right after some kind of meeting in the church..

Well, I remember I said this before,

"Orang mati didoain supaya diterima di Sorga.. supaya dosanya diampunin semua.. Buat apa coba?"

I still think like that, but.. it's different now.

I know why.

Because they love that person.

Goodbye, Tuaku.. We'll miss you.

Rest in peace..

Lots of Things

So.. lots have happened. Anyways, what happens recently not too much, in a short summary it would be something like this: I missed my first (and probably the only) study tour with my class (DON'T ASK WHY), I got one too many tasks and I'm pretty much frustrated because I can't seem to get it done, something about holiday is bothering me, the subjects at my campus bothering me as well, and the last but definitely not the least, I got the offer to move in to my grandma's house, so I can be closer to my campus.

Yeah from that list, the last seemed to bug me the most. It's true I could move there. I could take my lovely boyfriend (read: my computer) there.. ask them to install internet service, move my whole bed there, my bookshelf, and blah blah. I would wake up less early than I have to, and I DEFINITELY gonna be home sooner than I usually should. It sounded sort of, kinda, almost very nice. But the thing is... it's my grandma! She doesn't know me the way my "family" does. I mean, what should I do if I got home in a very bad mood? I can't just yell at her to back off, or to not interfere, or leave her without saying the truth! and I suppose we all know that I'm not that type of person. Sure I don't like it when unknown people know about me being bad moody and all, but again.. she's not a total stranger to me. I know her, she knows me.. well, a bit. So, it's really confusing. I mean, it's very tempting to live in somewhere closer. And I have a friend who I could ask to go home together too, if i live there. And it's Pasar Baru! It's kinda fun. AND IT'S CLOSE TO MY CHURCH! ha-ha.

Hhh. Not that I don't like or love her. Of course I do, but it's ME who I afraid to disappoint her. What if this real me (or at least the grumpy or the maudlin side of me) turn out to be something she resented? I do have problems to not stop thinking when I know--or suspect--someone's dislike towards me.

And I'm having a not too great time in campus as well. Life is great +.+